I’d just like to announce that effective immediately anyone riding in my car will be subject to a baggage charge of $10 per item, per trip. This applies to purses, backpacks, rucksacks, suitcases, fanny packs, man-purses, pockets, and wallets. You will be frisked. If you enjoy it you will be frisked twice. Charges can be paid in love, compliments or cash. Please note: referring to husbands, wives, or gf/bf as ‘old bag‘ will trigger the baggage fee provisions of this implied contract.
I appreciate that this will be a greatly misunderstood and pseudo-popular move, but given rapidly-decreasing global fuel prices it’s an absolute must for my personal bottom line. Besides, the airlines and the railways are already doing it and they’re charging a lot more because all they care about is profits.
In view of everything I think it’s not less than unreasonably reasonable.
When will it ever end?